Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Springfield Today July 17, 2018

July 17, 2018 by  
Filed under Blog

Good Moanin’ Springfieldians,

Weird but interesting… (Well, at least to me.)

Here are some of my favorite sentences featuring heteronyms. Does anyone know what a heteronym is?

(A heteronym, I discovered, are words spelled the same but with different meanings and, sometimes, different pronunciations.)

“The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.”

“The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.”

“Since there’s no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.”

“A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.”

“I did not object to the object.”

“The insurance was invalid for the invalid.”

“They were too close to the door to close it.”

“A seamstress and a sewer fell into the sewer line.”

“I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.”

“How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?”

No wonder the English language is so hard to learn.  And this doesn’t even mention all the words that are homophones – those words that are pronounced the same as each other but differ in meaning, such as: their, there, and they’re; and to, too, and two.

Hear’s a little story I maid up and I hope you can find all the homophones I used incorrectly. I know for some it might take daze to find them all, because its so challenging, but the reward will be grate.  The first one to tell me the correct number, Teri and I will treat to a DQ.

So, let’s get started. (Actually the count begins in the previous paragraph. So go back and start counting.)

One day I kneaded to go to the store to by some genes, but I wasn’t abel to go because my feat were so soar that I just wasn’t able to walk.  The souls of my feet were on fire. However, I saw in the newspaper that the next knight there was going to be a tremendous sail at Kmart, and sew I decided, know matter what, I had to get their.

The next day came, and though I was racked with pane, I started the long walk. Down one rode I walked, and wouldn’t you know it, it started to reign. I had no umbrella, I looked for a cab to take me the rest of the weigh, but no matter how hard I tried to waive down a cab, they all ignored me.

I was just about to lien against the building, hoping someone would come along and bale me out of this jam, and wouldn’t you no it, write at that very moment a guy who looked just like Kernal Mustard from the Clue game, stopped his car, approached me, and asked me if I was lost.

I told him how glad I was to sea him, and how I was just trying to get to the store for the grate sale they were having, and wondered if he could possibly help.  He asked me wear I was going.  And I told him Kmart.

He was pleasantly surprised because he said he kneaded to go they’re also and then said, “Yew are more than welcome to catch a ride with me.”

I waisted no time in climbing into his car and off we went.

He asked me, “Ware are ewe going, again?”

I told him Kmart.  And he responded, “Oh, write, I new that!”

Finally, we arrived and I began to go down each isle, looking for the items on my list.  I got my knew jeans, with a 38 waste. I also kneaded a knew water pale, a marshal arts DVD to work out by, a quarts watch, a new sealing fan, and Teri was insisting on a one carrot diamond wring.

Now I only had one our to get my shopping done.  Teri had warned me, “Yule, never get all that shopping dun in that short of time.”  And I already new I was do back home at 10:00 p.m., but I wasn’t going to cut my shopping short. I was convinced I could get it all done.

But a few unexpected things happened that extended my shopping trip. Some woman with a cart full of stuff, and a bunch of screaming kids ran over my tows with her cart.  Let me tell you those kids were long overdo for a little discipline.  And if they had been my kids I would have been tempted to ship them oversees. But no, this mom just lead them down the next aisle to terrorize another unsuspecting shopper.

And then, once in the shopping lain to check out, the guy in front of me was the most vial, disgusting guy I had ever scene.  He started yelling, and cursing at the clerk.  First demanding that she didn’t give him the change he was dew back.  And then saying she had charged him to much tacks on his purchase.  She, somehow, maintained her composure and security and came escorted the guy out of the store.

I tried to make light of the situation, but I could tell she was frustrated.  I said, “You don’t urn enough to put up with people like that.”  She didn’t even crack a smile; she just started scanning my items.

She told me my total, and immediately I knew I didn’t have enough doe to pay the bill.  My face turned beat read, I started apologizing, but I new I had egg yoke all over my face.

And with that; the pour clerk through up her hands, screamed, and ran out of the building mumbling about returning to her home country of Grease.

I felt bad, but watt was eye too due?

I returned home late, wouldn’t look Teri in the I, hung up my jeans on a hangar and just went to bed.

The “N”

Okay, how many homophones did you find?  The first correct answer gets a trip to DQ.

The English language is tough to learn with all of its weirdness – but sometime “church language” or “Christianese” is also tough to learn.  In our secular society does anyone, not raised in the church, understand what “I asked Jesus into my heart” really means?  Does Jesus come into that blood-pumping organ?  What does I prayed for a “hedge of protection around them” mean?  Does the unchurched understand what we mean when we say, “we’re living in the last days”?

If we’re going to reach our family and friends, with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, we need to learn to speak their language, not expect them to understand our language.  On the Day of Pentecost, when the 120 were filled with the Spirit of Christ, they went out into the streets and began to speak to the people, and the Scripture says everyone was amazed because they all heard what they were saying in their own native language.  God empowered them to speak in a language the people understood.

God will do the same for us if we seek Him.  Let’s learn to speak their language and then let’s tell them the “Good News” of Jesus.

 

What You Need to Know….

VBS IS GOING ON! VBS IS GOING ON! VBS IS GOING ON! VBS IS GOING ON! VBS IS GOING ON! I’m so excited! 6:15 each evening.  Bring those kids in.

Anyone interested in expressing their faith in Jesus Christ, please speak to the pastor. We will be baptizing new believers in the near future.

We are in need of someone to help organize and promote our Blood Drive. It takes place every two months.  See Toni Tyler for all the details.

Amped VBS Family Xperience is Thursday, July 19th from 6:15-8:30pm

Families, come experience VBS with your kids and get a taste of what they have been doing all week!
We will have refreshments and a “special event” to close out the week!

VBS Fellowship Meal is Sunday, July 22nd at NOON
Plan to stay & reach out to VBS families and let them know we’d love for them to be a part of our church.

 Be sure to pick up some sweet corn after church on Sunday. Bob Ridings has generously donated a pickup truck load of sweet corn to our church family.

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